As research shows that one in seven men loves their football team more than their partner, Polly Hudson says she is a loser in her love triangle. She says her husband loves Arsenal more than he loves her
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You wonder what kind of impact dishonesty has Prime Minister had on the men of this country?
Well, a new poll found that every seventh football fans he loves his club more than his partner. Just one in seven, huh? It’s their story and they stick to it. But the one of the seven who gladly admitted it? Reader, I married him.
I’ve never had a boyfriend before who was even vaguely interested in football, let alone a full season ticket, superstitious to the point that he had to have cheese in his pocket at every game (long story), a completely loyal student.
There is no doubt about who is in the first place in his life, which was shown when he congratulated me on the date of birth of our baby out of season, which means that he will be able to attend the birth. (Note, I just checked with him that ‘out of season’ is the right way to express it, asking, “What do you call it when they’re not playing?” His answer, “Damn.”)
The only advantage of his overall commitment to Arsenal is that it probably means there won’t be a Second Woman who is a woman and not a football club. He’s not that organized and doesn’t have enough hours in the day to juggle the three of us.
Honestly, he was s Arsenal much longer than he had been with me — they had been in a deeply committed relationship since he was a child.
What makes him a little unfair is that I would never get away with him as badly as they do.
If I asked him for as much as Arsenal asked for – money, time, expensive chips – and then constantly disappointed him so that he was regularly actively heartbroken and depressed, I would surely divorce me.
He accepts that from Arsenal and comes back for more each time. Maybe I’m second in his favor because I’m too vanilla to replicate the sadomasochistic element in their relationship. I should be mean to him to keep him sharp, just like them.
It’s also hard for him not to feel warmer towards his club than me because I’m so actively doing my best to sabotage them.
As every Gunners fan needs to know, most of their losses are entirely my fault. Like when they were ahead in a game my husband was watching at home on TV, and I walked into a room and asked what the score was, and then the other team won instead.
Needless to say, I am clear that I asked what the result was that totally tricked Arsenal and directly caused it with a loss. Somehow I will have to live with that guilt forever. Now he has to watch all the guest appearances in the pub, because our living room is out of luck.
And now I’m so conditioned to be the second-ranked sister of the women in these three that it doesn’t bother me at all. I’m just grateful he didn’t insist we move.